“Crimebo the Clown is like the adoptive love-child of James Ellroy and Emmett Kelly… Though some may believe that Crimebo’s schtick is strictly for grown-ups, we would book this clown for a kid’s party in a heartbeat. Nothing will put mollycoddled children in line quicker than seeing photos of Bukowski’s nose and learning the grim fate of the Black Dahlia from a wiseguy in greasepaint.” – L.A. Bizarro
Crimebo is the world’s only crime clown, a master of the inappropriate remark, a maker of headless balloon animals, a wearer of mismatched plaid patterns and caretaker of “Crimebo’s Big Book of Horrible Crimes,” from which he shares the most hideous occurrences of this or any year. Crimebo can be found on occasional Esotouric crime bus tours like Halloween Horrors and Pasadena Confidential, and is available for private bookings for birthdays, bar mitzvahs, anniversaries and wakes (he even does telephone greetings). New offerings include blind date chaperone service, bachelorette party mascot and anti-Santa Claus holiday visits. Under the greasepaint and manic grin is Michael Perrick, a voice and theatrical actor, event promoter and graphic artist.
Let Crimebo make your special day a little more upsetting with one of his PERSONALIZED PRESENTATIONS. Want to know what terrible things happened on your birthday or anniversary? The clown knows all, and can’t wait to share.
Or how about one of Crimebo’s new community services, described in the evil Clown’s own words.
CRIMEBO’S BACHELORETTE PARTY TAG-A-LONG
Crimebo says: “Hey Ladies, looking for that special touch to make your last night as a single gal truly unique? This very affectionate clown will show you a wild night of pony rides, crime skits (where the bride-to-be can be the torso), and adult balloon blowing. I’ll also follow you around as you visit strip clubs and get sloshed, fend off mashers, and keep you and your girlfriends out of trouble. And maybe in a few months, you can call me again and I’ll be doing baby showers!”
CRIMEBO’S INTERNET DATING CHAPERONE SERVICE
Crimebo says: “Did you just make a date with a stranger from the internet and don’t know how to break the ice? Let me do it! My crime clown chaperone service will make that sorta scary first meeting a memorable experience in gut-wrenching laughter. Let me rate your date with Clown Fear Factor: Are they scared of balloons? Are they bothered by non-utensil dining? Are they fit enough to run away? This creepy clown with a heart of gold will be standing to look after your sad drunk butt if the date goes bust, or to take photos to commemorate the night if things go well. And remember: I am very, very discrete.”
CRIMEBO’S CHRISTMAS PARTY MAGIC
Crimebo says: “Are you tired of the same old ‘ho ho ho’ from guys in stuffed red suits? This Christmas, forget about Santa and invite me to come down your chimney (or in your sliding glass patio door when nobody’s looking). I guarantee that I’ll steal your holiday hearts with my soulful caroling and rude Yule tidings. All the little boys and girls can take turns sitting on my lap begging for holiday gifts, and then I’ll give them a lesson in recession economics when I explain why they’re not getting any of it. And the fun continues as I drink up all the eggnog. For an unforgettable holiday celebration, and the strangest photo ops your living room has ever seen, you want my Christmas Crime Clown service, exclusively available during the holiday season.”
For your very own life-changing Crimebo the Clown experience, just call him up with a date, time and information about your event, and he’ll do something to make your special day unforgettable. That can be a good thing or a bad thing, but we promise, it won’t be like any other party entertainer you’ve ever seen before. Contact Crimebo directly through his website crimebo.com, via email bookingsATcrimeboDOTcom or by calling (323) 638-4097.